I finally got my earrings! Bring on the badassery!

Fresh blueberry muffin, new blog to read; were there 1 more B word there the morning would be perfect. Got butter?

Ugg, they put the news back on. Guess I'm cutting this break short.

She's a bot, Anna is a bot. She'll ban you, ban you so hard. Ready for take off!

I feel like some KD tonight, not Wendy's. And maybe some orange crush too to match.

A grilled cheese sandwhich with bacon and a side of fries sounds awesome right about now.

Mornings should be hit by a bus. Or the vehicle from Jeepers Creepers. Either way, kill em.

WEBCOR!
Webcor was a man
I mean, he was a dragon man
Or maybe he was just a dragon

I'm only the joker. Drugs are bad m'kay?

Outside sucks. I need an assistant. Or an Oompa Loomapa.

Where all my distractions at? Holla!

Ok, I'm ready to go home now.

I was asked to stay in activations to 'keep up morale' by a sup. Too funny, but no.

When coffee and bed fight, nobody wins. Support the CAB alliance, improving mornings... for everybody

Frosty the coffee queen!

Whoo hoo, it's officially Spring! Only one more season until bikinis!

My cookie had no fortune, I'm doomed. Hide me.

My cookie is empty, I have no fortune... Hide me plz.

If there was a word stronger than awkward, it could have used today. Twice.

Note to self: Breathing is a good way to avoid death.

I am Dante, damn it!

Give me caffeine, or give me death!

My morals dragged me to work today. Damn their strength.

Do you hate your job? Read this Life Hacker article and smile http://ping.fm/f4M6Q

Watchmen was good...but WTF was with the tiger-thing with the horns?

I vote 27.

Laundry day, see you there. Under things, tumbling. Wanna say, love your hair. Here I go...mumbling.

Fear the persistentcy of the unlovable.

$10 to anybody that can find me something like this in blue. http://ping.fm/96qcz

On a scale from 1 to 10 (ten being most) how approachable am I?

Just when I think I can get out, they pull me back in. Give me VTO damn it!

The more layers you wear, the cooler you are. I have 4: I'm a freaking ROCKSTAR!

I guess I look a thing like Jesus, but do I talk like a gentleman?

How can I be so popular with some, yet the one that I try to get attention from is ignoring me? Ugg.

Oh my god, Second Life ate my baby. Wait, it was your kid? He was a brat anyway, good riddence.

Fear not, Captain Missed-Signals is here with his female seeking awkwardness!
...Sorry.

Hey look, I'm outside in the sun. Want to meet and take a picture :P

Terrible Tuesday, Trouble Tuesday, Turrets Tuesday, Tubesock Tuesday? We gotta make this day a little less boring.

For only $1.34 a day you can sponsor your own Jeff.

OH MY GRAIN, A BABY CORN!

You've been hit by, You've been struck by, a smooth criminal. Oh!