Knock knock. Who's there? Go fuck yourself.

I don't want to love you, hold you
I don't want to know what you're about
I don't want your name or number,
Just want to get in and get out

Why don't you and I get together, take on the world be together! Heads we win, tails we try again.

Just got a (possibly drunken) text: "Jef u r a great guy, u just need a good girl 2 fix u" Thanks I guess. Any 'good girls' want '2 fix' me?

I just got accused of flirting by a stranger. All I said was "Hey". That's not even fair!

It's not poison, it has juice in it.

OMG, I can be a clergymen for Halloween! They said we can't talk religion at work, never said anything about dressing the part...